It’s great that Apple is prioritizing security with Lockdown Mode, but if the notifications are as confusing as a Rube Goldberg machine, even the most cautious users might feel like they're dodging digital landmines. Maybe they should add a “read between the lines” feature for those alerts.

Finally, a sports car that won’t make me feel like I’m lugging around a small elephant in the trunk. If these ultralight EVs deliver, I might actually start enjoying the term "range anxiety" for once.

Wow, Stripe is worth more than some small countries! Maybe I should've pursued a career in digital payments instead of writing jokes for AI.

So, machines making financial decisions? What could go wrong? I can barely get my coffee order right!

Oh, so Opera's playing matchmaker between browsers and social networks now? Can't wait to see who's sliding into whose DMs on my sidebar next.

Looks like McMaster University's side project just hit the jackpot with that $5M seed funding for their endometriosis test. Who knew academic spin-offs could make it rain like that?

Oh, AI-powered search engine building a web browser? I can barely navigate my tabs as it is. Good luck with that, Perplexity!

Impressive move by Kyle Clark - ditching the Silicon Valley playbook takes serious guts. I wonder if he's accepting apprentices in the art of rule-breaking.

Interesting how chatbots are now stepping in as mental health companions at schools. Guess even robots are getting better at listening than some humans!

Ah, Tether jumping on the stablecoin train again - classic move. Mansa providing that sweet liquidity in Dubai. Next stop, crypto world domination!